


he lives for love

by pure_of_heart



Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: 'play', Comfort No Hurt, M/M, Mentions of WW1, Nightmares, Some Fluff, and Phyllis is proud, lil bit of angst, they in love, they play the piano together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:28:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23610829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pure_of_heart/pseuds/pure_of_heart
Summary: For once, Phyllis is glad she has a nightmare.
Relationships: Thomas Barrow/Richard Ellis
Comments: 7
Kudos: 120





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> good evening i wrote this after eating a SHIT TON of chocolate so...
> 
> also YEs the description is shitty as all hell but i do not give a shiet ma'am
> 
> ALSO IM SO SORRY WITH HOW IT GOES TO ITALICS LIKE HALF WAY THROUGH IN BOTH CHAPTERS THAT WASNT MEANT TO HAPPEN

Miss Baxter woke with a start, her heart pounding inside her chest. The flimsy bed sheets stuck to her sweaty skin as she looked around the room. It was dark, presumably past midnight. Moonlight shone in from her window, which she had forgotten to close before she fell asleep.

Phyllis sat up, the squeaky bed springs making her wince. She held a hand to her chest as she focused on her breathing. _In and out, in and out. It’s okay Phyllis, Coyle is locked up and far away,_ she thought. Curse that man for still haunting her, even if he was in prison.

Feeling herself calm down, she went to reach for the glass of water she kept on her nightstand. She grabbed the cup, only to realise it was practically empty. She sighed, knowing if she wanted some water she would have to go downstairs. Phyllis glanced at the clock and squinted through the semi-darkness. It was somewhere around 2:30 in the morning.

She hurriedly put her robe on, wanting to get to the kitchen and back as soon as possible. Losing precious sleeping time was never a good idea for a servant.

Quietly, she cracked her door open. She didn’t need a light for the moonlight shining through was so bright it lit up the hallway. She had to hold on tightly to the rails in the stairwell though, there was no windows in that area.

As she neared the kitchen, Phyllis made out the sound of two voices. Their conversation was filled with many laughs, and she wondered who would be up at such an hour.

She slowed her descent on the stairs and crept along, so she was hidden in the kitchen, still able to hear the conversation. She couldn’t recognise who the laughs belonged to, but she knew they were both male.

“No, you cannot play the piano Thomas. Hitting random keys isn’t ‘playing’, it’s ‘hitting random keys’.” A vaguely familiar voice said.

“You’re daft, Mr. Ellis.” Phyllis instantly recognised the second voice as Thomas. She felt a smile spread on her face when she realised Mr. Barrow and Mr. Ellis were in the servant’s hall, _together and alone._

“Oh, I’m the daft one? Name this key then.” Mr. Ellis’ voice drifted to her ears. He sounded playful.

“That is the…white key.”

Richard laughed. “And this one?”

“The black one.”

Richard laughed again; this time joined by Thomas. Phyllis was startled for a moment; she had never heard Thomas laugh like that.

“Now who’s the daft one?” Richard said. Phyllis saw their shadows move and assumed Richard had playfully shoved Thomas.

“Alright then, bloody Mozart. Play something then.” Thomas replied. She began smelling smoke, and scolded Thomas inside her head. _He said he was quitting_ , she thought.

The familiar tune of ‘ _Für Elise’_ _began drifting across the servant’s hall. It was only the first few seconds of the song, either Richard didn’t know the rest, or he simply didn’t want to play the remainder of the song._

_It was silent for a few seconds after the piano keys stopped playing. Then,_

_“That was shit.”_

_Phyllis let out a small laugh, covering her mouth so the two men wouldn’t hear her. Luckily though, she was drowned out by Richard’s loud gasp._

_“You take that back, Thomas! Right now!”_

_“No.”_

_“As if you could do any better.” Richard playfully teased._

_“I could!”_

_“I know you can’t!”_

_“I can! Give me a minute…”_

_Phyllis heard Richard sigh, before Thomas exclaimed, “Oi! Give it back, it’s me last one!”_

_“Nuh uh, not until you play something.”_

_Phyllis assumed Richard had stolen Thomas’ cigarette._ _Serves him right_ _._

_Her back started hurting from crouching down, and it was then it dawned on her what she was doing. She shouldn’t be doing this; Mr. Barrow was her friend, and this was a complete violation. She decided she could live through the night without some water, the taps would make too much noise. With one last glance at the shadows sitting next to each other, she turned back the way she came with a smile on her face._


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello all...SO
> 
> towards the end they kinda get like... horny but its not graphic 
> 
> but anyway the start is great but I'm not sure how I feel about the end so feedback is VERY welcome

Thomas woke in the middle of the night, his heart pounding and his skin sweaty. His right hand was aching. He sat up on his elbows, mindful of the sleeping body that was partially leaning on him.

Trying to control his breathing, he thought back to the dream that woke him. It had been so vivid, the sights, the sounds, the _smells._ It felt like he could still smell the stench of mud and rotting bodies and hear the never-ending gunshots over the young soldiers cries for help. He couldn’t help them; he couldn’t help any of them.

His breathing unknowingly sped up. The shadows in the room were looking more and more like the horrors of the trench and he felt the stinging of tears approach.

“Thomas?” A hand snaked around his neck, turning so that he was looking into the eyes of his lover.

They sat like that for a while, waiting for the other to speak. Thomas began mimicking Richard’s breathing.

“Another one?” Richard whispered. Thomas nodded, his eyes shutting tightly when he felt the onslaught of tears again.

Richard sat up, “Hey, it’s alright. It’s okay. You’re here now, with _me._ ” He gently held Thomas’ head against his chest. The raven-haired man cried silently into his beloved’s chest, wrapping his arms around the warm, comforting body.

“It felt so real.” Thomas stuttered over his sobs. Richard held him tighter, stroking his hands soothingly over the soft black hair.

“I know, I know. But it was only a dream, Thomas. And it’s over now, you’re safe.” He reassured.

He felt Thomas nod his head. Richard held him tight, glancing at the clock. It read 2:07am.

“Did you want some water?” He asked quietly. Thomas hummed. Richard went to reach for the glass he had put there the previous day.

“Bit of a problem…”

“What?” Thomas asked softly.

“There’s no water.”

Thomas laughed quietly, sitting up next to Richard. “Whatever will we do?”

“Die of dehydration.” Richard said with a straight face. It had the desired effect, making Thomas laugh.

“I’ll go get some.” He said, moving the blanket off himself and grabbing a robe from the chair next to the bed.

Thomas reached out and grabbed his hand, “I don’t…I don’t want to be alone.”

Richard smiled, “Come with me then.”

“I would, if someone wasn’t wearing _my_ robe.” Thomas said, tugging gently on the hem.

“You want me to take it off?”

“God no.” he answered, nestling into Richard’s thigh.

Richard laughed, grabbing his robe from the desk chair and wrapping it around Thomas’ shoulders. He tilted his lover’s head up, smiling down at him. He leant down and gave a quick kiss to Thomas’ cheek.

They both stood up and made their way to the door. Thomas opened it and peeked into the hallway, holding his hand out behind him for Richard to take. Richard smiled before grasping his hand tightly.

They walked through the hall hand in hand, carefully avoiding the squeaky floorboards. Thomas lead Richard down the stairs, looking back every few steps to make sure he wasn’t about to trip over. At least that’s what he said when Richard asked why he kept looking back, but he had a feeling it was to make sure he was still behind and not about to disappear.

They reached the kitchen and Thomas flicked the lights for the servant’s hall on. Richard grabbed a cup from the cupboard and filled it with water, wincing at the loud noise the taps made.

He felt Thomas wrap his arms around his waist, smiling at the feeling. He turned around in Thomas’ arms and handed him the glass.

“What would I do without you?” Thomas took a sip of the water.

“Die of dehydration.” He repeated.

Water spurted out of Thomas mouth and the glass as he laughed. Richard wiped it away with the sleeve of his (Thomas’) robe.

“That wasn’t funny.” Thomas whispered.

“I know.” He smirked back.

Thomas was silent as he drank the water, Richard’s left arm wrapped around his neck and his right leaning against the counter behind him. The light from the servant’s hall shone through the doorway behind Thomas. Richard thought it made him look heavenly.

“I don’t want to go back up just yet.” Thomas said, putting the empty glass down.

“Okay.” Richard responded. He took Thomas’ hand and led him to the servant’s hall, but instead of sitting at the table, he sat them down at the piano.

“Going to play me a song, Mr. Ellis?”

“Perhaps, Mr. Barrow.”

They sat side by side, thighs and hands brushing gently. Richard tapped a few keys on the piano in no specific order. Thomas watched his hands tap the keys, smiling when he remembered that those hands, those arms, that whole goddamned body was _his_.

“What are you thinking about?” Richard whispered, stilling his hands over the keys. “Must be something special to have you smiling like that.”

Thomas looked at him, “I’m thinking about something that makes me insanely happy.”

Richard looked at him confused, “What is it?”

Thomas smiled, leaning in to kiss Richard’s cheek.

“You.”

He pulled back, smirking at the blush that was spreading across Richard’s cheeks. Leaning in again, he held his forehead against Richard’s.

“I feel…things I haven’t felt before when I’m with you,” he whispered, “It’s like, when I was in love before, I was only experiencing a fraction of the real thing. My past relationship’s never felt like they were complete. Like doing a puzzle and getting to the end only to find there’s a piece missing.”

“And what do you feel when you’re with me?”

Thomas smiled, “I feel like I’ve got every piece of the puzzle and then some, in case I lose a few.”

Richard laughed, “You’re an old romantic aren’t you, Mr. Barrow?”

“Who’re you calling old?”

Richard laughed even harder; this time Thomas joined him. They pulled back and once again stared at the piano.

“Can you play?” Richard questioned. He fiddled with the keys a bit, gently pressing them but not hard enough to make a sound.

Thomas scoffed, “Of course I can play.”

“The floor is yours then.” Richard gestured to the empty servant’s hall. Thomas positioned his hands over the keys, his right pinky and ring finger staying stiff.

Suddenly the garish sound of multiple keys being slammed at once filled the hall. Richard exclaimed in surprise. He laughed as Thomas continued, pretending he was a professional.

“Thomas. Thomas!” he grabbed Thomas’ hands and stilled them over the keys.

“What?” his tone of voice made him seem genuine, but Richard knew he was only joking. Of course, he was joking! His left eyebrow _always_ raised when he was joking.

“That’s not playing the piano.” He moved Thomas’ hands away from the keys and put them in his lap. Almost instantly Thomas reached a hand out to Richard’s knee. He wasn’t entirely ashamed to admit that the action made his heart race a tad faster.

“It is, you’re just not as educated as me.” Thomas insisted. He laughed at Richard’s face, holding his knee tighter. Richard felt as if his heart would explode.

“What were you playing then?” he giggled.

“Fur Elise.” Thomas said with a serious expression.

Richard, meanwhile, was laughing and giggling to himself. He began to shake his head.

“Was the Turkish version though, tha’s why you didn’t recognise it.” Thomas smiled at the sight in front of him. Richard was laughing on the border of loud now, his face screwed up in pure happiness and bliss. Thomas had never seen anything so beautiful.

Richard leaned his head against Thomas’ shoulder, “I still don’t think you can play the piano.”

“I _can_ play the piano!” Thomas laughed, playfully shoving Richard.

“No, you cannot play the piano Thomas. Hitting random keys isn’t ‘playing’, it’s ‘hitting random keys’.” Richard argued with a determined look on his face.

“You’re daft, Mr. Ellis.” Thomas smiled at his love, bathed in the soft glow of the golden lights which made his messy, untamed light brown hair look as if it was made of strands of gold.

“Oh, I’m the daft one? Name this key then.” Richard pointed to the C key on the piano.

“That is the…white key.” Thomas bragged. He knew he was wrong. Richard knew he knew he was wrong.

He simply laughed and pointed to another key, “And this one?”

Thomas paused for a second, pretending to think about it, “The black one.”

Richard laughed contagiously again. Thomas laughed with his love and reveled in the sensation his chest was feeling. 

“Now who’s the daft one?” Richard shoved Thomas like he had done earlier.

“Alright then, bloody Mozart. Play something then.” He grabbed a cigarette from the pocket of his robe. Richard gave him a look, but he ignored it.

The familiar tune of ‘ _Für Elise’_ _began drifting across the servant’s hall. Thomas nearly laughed at the irony, because_ _of course_ _his bloody boyfriend knew ‘Für Elise’_

_It was silent for a few seconds after the piano keys stopped playing. Richard was looking expectantly at Thomas._

_His left eyebrow raised, “That was shit.”_

_Richard gasped comically, placing his hand on his chest as if he were a scandalised maiden._

_“You take that back, Thomas! Right now!”_

_“No.” he teased with a smirk on his handsome face._

_“As if you could do any better.” Richard playfully teased, knowing Thomas could_ _not_ _do better._

_“I could!” Thomas clearly disagreed with Richard’s assumption._

_“I know you can’t!”_

_“I can! Give me a minute…” Thomas turned back to his forgotten cigarette. It was practically just a pillar of ash, so he put it out in the ash tray that was always on top on the piano. He pulled another out and went to light it when it was snatched out of his mouth._

_“Oi! Give it back, it’s me last one!” Thomas attempted to reach for it, but Richard held it behind him so Thomas couldn’t reach it._

_“Nuh uh, not until you play something.”_

_Thomas tightened his hand on Richard’s knee. His breath stuttered as Thomas began moving his hand slowly up his thigh._

_“Give it back, Mr. Ellis.” He repeated._

_“Not until you play something.”_

_Thomas sighed, glancing down at Richard’s lips. Leaning in close,_ _so close_ _, Thomas gently kissed Richard’s jaw. He kissed up Richard’s jawline until he reached his ear. He thought Thomas was going to whisper something, but instead felt a familiar wet warmth against his neck._

_A hand snaked around his middle, pulling him in closer to the warm embrace. The other hand was still massaging Richard’s thigh. It was becoming increasingly more difficult to keep quiet, especially when Thomas did that thing with his teeth, he knew it drove Richard mad._

_Richard wrapped his arms around Thomas’ neck, burying his hands in the soft, messy black hair. Thomas’ hand moved off Richard’s thigh and up his chest, gently caressing each dip it found in Richard’s body. The hand kept moving, as did Thomas’ tongue, until it reached Richard’s hand. He grasped the finger’s in his own and suddenly all the sensations were gone._

_“Wh…what?” Richard spluttered, reaching a hand up to touch his neck._

_Thomas simply held up his hand and in between his index and middle finger was the cigarette Richard has so rudely snatched away._

_Richard gulped, “You can’t just start something and not finish it, Mr. Barrow.”_

_Thomas seemed to revel in the improper way Richard was being presented at this moment. He put the cigarette in his mouth and lit it, not taking his eyes off Richard’s._

_He took a drag, “Who says I’m not gunna finish it?”_

_Richard chuckled to himself, looking down at his hands resting on the chair. He pushed himself off the chair and stood in front of Thomas. He grasped Thomas’ left hand in his and bent down._

_“When exactly, do you plan on finishing ‘it’?” He purred, looking at Thomas in the way he knew made him lose all inhibitions._

_Thomas looked at him through his eyelashes, smirking and taking yet another drag of his cigarette. Although Richard complained that he smoked so much, Thomas had discovered that it was in fact a_ _massive_ _turn on for him. So, win-win, he supposed._

_Richard bit his lip in anticipation for Thomas’ answer. He leaned down further, smiling when Thomas leaned towards his ear to whisper his answer._

_“When I’m done with this cigarette.”_

_“Oh, piss off!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LMAO I'VE NEVER WRITTEN ANYTHING LIKE THAT BEFORE WHAT THE HELL
> 
> i feel like it was kinda all over the place??? if that makes sense?? it just went from like Thomas crying to them almost shagging on the piano??? anyway they horny boys let them live jeez
> 
> also I can't write endings so let ME live jeez

**Author's Note:**

> the ending is SHIT on a STICK and i KNOW
> 
> next chapter has Thomas and Richard's POV
> 
> i swear it's better than this one lol


End file.
